Mal Doran McKay: Penny for Your Thoughts
by McKay Rulez
Summary: After an incident in the lab happens to John, Rodney feels guilty. Vala and Sam comfort. Ship: Vala/Rodney


_Disclaimer!:_ I don't own Stargate or it's characters!  
Summary: After an incident in the lab happens Rodney feels guilty. Vala and Sam comfort. Ship: Vala/Rodney  
 _Episode mentions / spoilers:_ "Sunday", "Tao of Rodney"  
 _Note:_ Can be considered part of the "Shep'Neill  & the Stories of Sailing Ships" story as a pre-chapter 3 but not required.

* * *

Rodney gazed through the upstairs observation window, down at John.  
Sheppard was laying down on a cot unconscious. He'd look peaceful if he wasn't hooked up to an array of various medical devices.

Rodney felt an ill feeling twinge in his gut as he watched his friend being scanned and tested on.  
The Doctor's said it might take a while until they could confirm anything.

Vala noticed Rodney's unusual silence and then took in the look on his face.  
Vala snatched an object off the observation desk and sat down next to him. Presenting him the object.

Rodney looked down at her open hand and gazed at the pen that was laid across her palm. He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow.

"I believe..." Vala started taking Rodney's hand and placing the pen into his. She kept her hand cupped under his.  
"The Tau'ri saying is 'Pen to write down your thoughts'."

Rodney stared at her for a moment as she took his hand, then smiled in understanding after she explained. "Penny."

Vala tilted her head confused at him.

"The saying is 'Penny for your thoughts.'" Rodney explained as he took the pen with his free hand and placed it on the table.

"I'm afraid Daniel doesn't have any pennies in his wallet... Not that I'd ever take money from his wallet. Or have even looked in it for that matter.."

"Right.. Of course you haven't." Rodney shook his head, giving her a half smile. She smiled back.

Vala looked back around at the others then looked back at him. "So.. What are you thinking?" She asked, leaning closer to him...  
 _In case he doesn't want them to over hear._ She told herself.

Rodney looked back out the window feeling guilty. "It reminds me.. Of what happened to Dr. Hewston and Dr. Beckett.." Vala frowned not understanding.

Sam walked up and leaned against the wall. "Do you think he has an exploding tumor?" She asked quietly.

"No I mean..." He sighed and looked away. His fingers started rustling in agitation. Vala put her other hand over them to still them.  
"Whenever I leave my guard down around lab procedures others pay the price..."

Sam sat down next to him. "What happened to Dr. Hewston wasn't your fault. You weren't even in the lab when it happened. It was her who hadn't followed procedure. Not you."

"I still should have checked the equipment they had messed with to have figured out what it was... Then there was the time Zelenka nearly died because I was rushing things."

"You couldn't have know he was in the hallway at the time." Sam replied.

"Then today.. I let Jack and John play with the sphere and I didn't even know what it was! I should have taken it from them instead of letting them play catch with it!" Rodney said angry at himself.

"I was there too Rodney and I didn't do anything either. It wasn't just you, besides you where across the room. I was right there next to them. It was my fault." Sam stated.

"It was no ones fault. It was an accident." Vala put in calmly.  
Rodney opened his mouth to retort Sam but Vala interrupted them.  
"You can't blame things on yourself that you had no control over."

"I was there... I could of.." Rodney started weakly.

"It doesn't matter if you where there or not. You couldn't have prevented a dam thing just by being there. Trust me on this." Vala said looking down at their joined hands. "If I ever blamed myself for just being somewhere and not being able to stop, or prevent something evil then I'd be full of guilt of what Qetesh did in my body, but I'm not. My past was out of my control as it was with yours."

Rodney watched Vala quietly as she continued to look down at their hands. He tried to think of something to say but all he could say was, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She asked quietly.

"For making you think of hurt past thoughts."

"Well.. I guess where even." Vala said stroking the top of his hand.

"On what?" Rodney asked as he blushed.

"We both owe each other a penny for our thoughts. I guess we broke even."

Rodney smiled sadly. "Yeah, I guess so."


End file.
